


Tender Feelings

by NamelessMoogle



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Confessions, Confrontations, Denial of Feelings, Duty, Heartache, Hugs, Kissing, Loneliness, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Mutually Unrequited, Responsibility, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 03:26:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14011146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelessMoogle/pseuds/NamelessMoogle
Summary: It feels different to be here by myself....Now, Ignis Scientia had to learn to go on without such luxuries.I lived that life before. I can do it again.





	1. Tender Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing _Tender Feelings_ after waking up from a dream last year, and before I knew it, this one shot evolved into a four shot.

It seemed that nothing had changed -- small space, no decoration other than a painting on the wall, chef busy in the kitchen. An old couple was having a meal at the table for two. The other table, for one person, was empty. Ignis grabbed the chair in front of the smaller table and sat on it. The chef looked at him and nodded, acknowledging the order for the chef's special.

_It feels different to be here by myself._

Ignis was used to eating here, a restaurant with nothing on the menu but the chef's special, whose contents depended upon what the owner-chef had available each day. The food was delicious and wholesome, unlike what Ignis found in most restaurants. He appreciated Minako and everything the place offered. He treasured the memories of having dinner with someone -- the _only_ person he had ever gone out with.

This time, however, Ignis came alone and took the "single" table for the first time. The tabletop looked big and empty to him. He had grown accustomed to the presence of a tall man with strong muscles, on the opposite side of the larger table. There, they could be two young men on a date, instead of the prince's Shield and Advisor. They couldn't kiss and make out in the restaurant, but they could look at each other and into the eyes, like any other couple in love.

Ignis could recall the moments when their fingers brushed as they reached for the side dishes. Gladio would always react to the touches with his signature smirk, while Ignis kept a straight face. If Ignis had been more honest with his own feelings, he would have admitted that he touched the side dishes more often than he would elsewhere so that he could feel Gladio's fingers. The two of them ate in silence, but they spoke to each other through shy glances and touches.

Now, Ignis Scientia had to learn to go on without such luxuries. _I lived that life before. I can do it again._ He consumed everything on the table as if he were under an obligation to do so. The food looked as delicious and wholesome as ever, but Ignis couldn't say anything about the taste for once. He simply trusted the chef not to poison a loyal customer and kept focusing on swallowing the food.

Autopiloting his way out of _Minako_ , the young man felt someone staring at him across the street. He looked around to see whether or not it was the case. Much to his surprise, he saw a tall man in leather pants and a tank top waving at him from a cafe nearby, with a smile on the face.


	2. Tender Hearts

"We must focus on our duties, Gladiolus."

Gladio flinched at every word, especially his full name. The Shield of the future king of Lucis knew that he had gargantuan responsibilities that came with the fancy title. He had no intention of running away from his duties to the crown. However, he felt that, as a human being, he was entitled to some personal happiness as well. He was not amused that Ignis, of all people, was denying that notion.

Even so, Gladiolus Amicitia couldn't say no to Ignis Scientia.

The two of them worked closely together as the prince's retinue, but neither of them spoke of the break-up. Nothing had changed on the surface: Gladiolus kept training and Ignis continued looking after Noctis. Now that the prince had graduated from high school, both the Shield and the Advisor were busier than before. Gladio could see the logic in what Ignis had said at the end of their last date.

Even so, Gladio missed Ignis. _His_ Ignis.

Gladio grabbed his cell phone and typed a message: _You're right about the duty thing, but_... He shook his head and deleted everything. Despite all the books he had read and the education he had received, Gladiolus Amicitia couldn't complete a single text message to the man he had feelings for. He was afraid of Ignis looking down on him for letting his personal feelings dominate his thoughts.

_Maybe I can ask Iggy to spar with me. He's been training to join the Crownsguard, so_... Then, Gladio realised that Ignis could see through the ruse and turn him down. Besides, Cor the Immortal himself had taken to train the chamberlain. Ignis wouldn't be happy with an inferior instructor when he already had the best of the best.

_I will always see Iggy as long as we both work for Noct._ This fact rendered any attempt of saying "I miss you" pointless. Nevertheless, simply working with Ignis wouldn't satisfy Gladio anymore.

Frustrated, the young Shield decided to go for a walk outside the Citadel. The walk became a jog as he tried not to think about the emptiness in his heart. _If I'm busy enough, if I'm tired enough, I won't be able to feel this pain._ Gladio let his feet move his body and paid little attention to where he was going. When he realised that he was approaching the restaurant where he had had lunches and dinners with Ignis, he stopped.

Gladio couldn't bring himself to enter the restaurant, a place full of memories he had shared with Iggy. At the same time, he wasn't ready to leave the area, as if the memories chained him to the corner of the street. The young man settled himself in the cafe across the street, opting for a seat by the window.

Opening the messenger app on his cell phone once again, Gladiolus typed _I don't know what to do without you_ , and blankly stared at the restaurant _Minako_ while his thumb hovered over the SEND button. Then, as though the Astrals had heard his wishes, a familiar figure emerged from the restaurant. Not wanting to miss the very person he wanted to see, Gladio rushed out at once.


	3. Tender Approaches

“Gladiolus.”

“Ignis.”

The Shield and the Advisor of Prince Noctis had been thinking about -- and missing -- each other. Now, surprised at the sudden encounter, they could only stare, unable to utter anything else. It was Ignis who regained his posture first and suggested the other man that they go somewhere quiet, away from the street. Gladio nodded and followed the bespectacled man. The two of them walked to a nearby part in silence.

Gladio fidgeted and looked around as the duo entered the park. He let out a sigh of relief when he spotted an Ebony vending machine. The tall man approached it in order to purchase a can of what he knew was Ignis’ favourite beverage. Gladio handed the can to Ignis, who accepted it with a shy smile and a nod.

“Thank you, Gladiolus.”

_He’s still using my full name_ , Gladio cringed at the realisation. He knew he should be glad that Ignis was talking to him when not at work. He should be grateful for whatever he could get, as _anything_ was better than nothing at all. He should thank the Six that Ignis was smiling in his presence, though it had more to do with the coffee than the Shield.

“Anytime.”

_Anything for you._

“So… How are you doing, Gladiolus?”

“Not too bad. Was taking a walk. What about you?”

“I had an early dinner. I must return to the Citadel shortly, but…”

“Sorry for bothering you, then.”

“You are _not_ a bother.”

Ignis didn’t know why he said it, nor did he know how to continue that chain of thoughts. He himself had told Gladio that duty must come first and foremost. He wasn’t going to let the emotion trample on the logic.

“There is no need to concern yourself, Gladiolus.”

The strategist never wanted to worry anyone, especially _this_ one. He wanted to stay independent and strong, because he had nothing but his own skills to depend on, in order to keep his job. He couldn't afford to focus on anything but work, despite the moments when his thoughts were on a certain co-worker…

“I can't help it, Iggy.”

The response startled both men. Gladio felt he had spoken without thinking. Ignis was surprised at the weight he sensed in those words. Before they knew it, they were looking into each other's eyes, burning amber meeting soothing green, as if they could find an answer there. Neither of them said a word for what felt like hours to them.

“What do you mean by ‘can't help it’?”

Ignis pushed himself to give the question a voice, without knowing what to expect. Gladio, though he was aware of his own feelings, struggled to figure out how to answer the question. The swordsman knew he had to choose his words carefully; or else, Ignis might end up hating him for real.

“I care about you, Ignis. I want you to be happy and well.”

“Thank you, Gladiolus. I wish you the same.”

Gladio knew he didn’t say what he truly felt; nevertheless, he was content, watching Ignis respond with a warm smile on the face. _As long as Iggy’s happy, I’ll be happy… for him._ The thought stung the Shield’s heart, but he knew he had to live with the pain so that he could continue working -- and staying in touch -- with this young man he treasured.

For the first time in a while, Ignis was at ease, and he knew very well why. Though often taken to be devoid of emotion, Ignis Scientia was just a young workaholic striving to be better at what he did. Barely an adult, he knew he had yet to figure out how to balance all the tasks at hand. He knew what and whom he wanted, but he didn’t know how to handle both work and personal life without sacrificing either of them.

“Gladio…”

The Shield’s heart jumped at the use of his pet name. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the other man since their eyes met, but Gladio looked carefully at Ignis once again. Only then did he notice the slight shaking of the hand holding the can of Ebony, as well as the vulnerable look in the eyes behind the specs. Gladio wished he could wash the pain away from Ignis. _His_ Ignis.

“I don’t know what to do without you, Gladio.”

_What have I done?_ In truth, Ignis knew what he had done: he had said something he should not have said. Because he was weak, he admitted. He was always weak around Gladiolus Amicitia, and he always would be. Nonetheless, he had no rights to desire anything for himself. He had to make sure that Gladio would not remember what had just happened.

“Pardon me, Gladiolus. I must return to the Citadel at once.”

Two strong hands on Ignis’s shoulders locked the strategist in a close proximity to the man who held his heart. Just as the younger man became aware of the glint in Gladio’s eyes, he felt warm lips touch his own.


	4. Restless Hearts

Having worked late into the night at the Citadel, Ignis returned to his apartment. The workaholic chamberlain was, for once, glad that he was to have a day off the following day. On top of the usual -- endless -- workload, he had run into Gladiolus after what was supposed to be a quiet and peaceful meal, and…

Ignis shook his head and sighed at the thought. _It was an accident. I made a mistake._ He left Gladiolus at the park once he realised that the Shield’s lips were touching his. _I must forget about it._ Contrary to what he was telling himself, however, Ignis couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. The warmth of Gladio’s hands on his shoulders, the eyes that shone like gemstones, the gentle touch of lips on his… The young retainer found himself wanting more.

“I must focus on my duties.”

Mumbling to himself, Ignis walked into the bathroom for a shower. He opted for a cold shower, which he thought would provide some distraction he needed at the moment. When he finished the shower several minutes later, he felt clean and slightly refreshed, though his mind was still on the kiss. _I won’t be able to sleep tonight._ Tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, Ignis took a thick binder out of his briefcase and put it on the tea table.

There was a knock on the door as Ignis was about to sit down with a cup of Earl Grey and start going through the documents. Frustrated but unable to ignore the possibility of an emergency, Ignis opened the door to see who the visitor was. He expected either the head chamberlain or the Marshal, his supervisors. What he saw was far from what he had anticipated: taller and more casually dressed.

“Ignis,” a hesitant voice whispered.

“Gladiolus.”

“Sorry for intruding, but may I…”

“Of course,” Ignis answered before his brain could process what was happening

After letting Gladio in and closing the door, Ignis realised how differently they both looked than they were at work. The Shield was wearing gym pants and a long-sleeved hoodie on top, with his hair in a ponytail. Ignis was in dark purple silk pajamas, and his hair had been freshly towel-dried. Unhappy with the messy looks, Ignis reached for his hair in an attempt to tidy it up, only to realise that he wasn’t wearing gloves.

“Apologies. I wasn’t expecting company.”

“No worries.”

Despite the calming words, Gladio was fidgeting, scratching the back of his head.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Uh, sure. Water will do.”

As Ignis entered the kitchen to fetch a glass of water, he couldn’t help but wonder why Gladiolus had come to apartment in the middle of the night. _Were something happening to Noct, I would be notified on the phone at once. Why is he here?_ For once, Ignis Scientia was unable to find an answer to a question he faced. He decided not to pursue it for the time being, and brought the glass to the visitor.

“Thanks,” Gladio said before taking a sip.

Once the taller out down the glass, Ignis could no longer hide his curiosity.

“What brought you here, Gladiolus?”

Gladio’s gaze met Ignis’, as if the Shield hoped to answer the Advisor with his eyes alone.

“I think we need to talk.”

Ignis flinched at the words, but managed to retort. “Can’t it wait till later? I am about to go to sleep, and I have tomorrow off. We can talk when -”

“It can’t,” Gladio stated. “We need to talk. Now.”

Surprised at the vehemence of the other man’s reaction, Ignis didn’t know what to do but ask why.

“Ignis… What are we?”

“The retainers of Prince Noctis.”

“Not that, Iggy. What are we… to each other?”

“Co-workers. Why are you asking -”

“Am I just a co-worker to you, and nothing else?”

“You are a colleague whom I have come to respect -”

“Ignis,” Gladio interrupted once again, “are you saying that you have absolutely no feelings for me now?”

“As I’ve told you before, Gladiolus, we must focus on our duties to the Crown. In fact, you were born to uphold them, being the firstborn son of the King’s Shield, and -”

Before Ignis could finish the sentence, Gladio put his arms around the younger man and held him in a gentle hug. Ignis considered breaking himself out of the embrace, Then, he felt rapid, frantic heartbeats coming from the other man’s chest. The rhythm and the warmth made Ignis wish that he could stay close to Gladio like this.

“I meant what I said earlier,” Gladio said, as he tucked Ignis’ head under his chin, “that I care about you. But…” Strong fingers touched Ignis’ towel-dried hair when Gladio admitted, “I’ve really missed you.”

Ignis nearly choked at the confession, since he himself had felt the same towards Gladiolus Amicitia. However, the strategist preferred to have his priorities straight and put his personal feelings aside accordingly. He had believed that he would be fine; but he wasn’t. Although Ignis could stay calm and neutral while working, he was not made of cold steel, nor was he without a heart. He was a man in love, one lost in the numerous tasks he had to handle. Being an orphan without a sibling, he had no family to turn to; and he had no intention to ask his uncle, a man even busier than he was, to help him in such a trivial matter. Unsure about what to say in response, Ignis pulled his head out of Gladio’s hold and looked up.

Eyes shining like stars in the dark sky were focused on Ignis’. The fingers that had been touching Ignis’ hair were stroking his face. Gone was the duty-driven chamberlain. The man standing in his place simply wanted to keep this moment in his heart forever. 

“Gladio, I…”

For once, the Shield remained silent and continued to look at the man in his arms.

“I have missed you, too.”

Ignis felt large hands cupping his face, and gentle lips placed on his. Then, he pushed his own lips slightly forward to taste Gladio’s. Gladio matched his moves while moving his hands away from Ignis’ face so that he could wrap his arms around the man who had captured the Shield’s heart.

**Author's Note:**

> [Scream at me about my little fics](https://twitter.com/namelessmoogle1).


End file.
